Two days ago I went to the bank to deposit my Subshack check. I was excited as I was almost broke at the time and I had just run out of several important items (protein powder, for one) and well, payday is always an exciting day for everyone, right? As usual, I was making plans in my head for all the things I was going to do once I had that sweet, sweet cash in my hand.
"I'm gonna buy a French Press and use it for loose-leaf tea!"
"I'm gonna buy seven pounds of protein powder!"
"I'm gonna start drinking red wine!"
You know the deal. Payday is awesome.
Payday brings hope.
I made my way into the grocery store where the nearest branch of my bank is located, walking with that world-on-a-string feeling. I think I may have had a little too much spring in my step, as I vaguely remember time slowing to a crawl and effortlessly leaping over an elderly woman who had fallen seconds earlier. Her cries for help were distorted and converted into the peaceful harmonies of Celtic new age artist Enya's Athair ar Neamh.
Hey, when you're feeling this good, you don't stop for anything, baby.
Anyway, the world took a sudden, violent turn for the worse when I finally made it to the bank to deposit my check. You see, the guy ahead of me in line started arguing with the clerk, which had become heated and distracting enough to break me out of my bliss and into an uncomfortable funk. I have no idea what the argument was about, but what I'd gathered was that he wasn't able to receive the money he'd come there for, and to say he wasn't very happy about it would be an understatement.
He turned around, started walking away with the grace of a drunken Sasquatch and said loud enough for everyone in a twenty-foot radius to hear:
"Alright, cunt! See ya later, cunt!"
Now, I consider myself to be pretty adept at handling awkward situations, but in this sort of situation I'm pretty useless. I can't say I was shocked at the guy's reaction; I've been working in a sandwich shop for years and I've had people throw bitch-fits because I put too many pickles on their sandwich. It really makes you wonder how anyone could flip out over such trivial things. You don't put what they consider to be "extra" mayonnaise on a person's sandwich and they react as if you just took a shit on their grandmother's corpse.
(This is where I'd normally put an awesome MSPaint drawing. Sorry, it ain't happening.)
I didn't do anything aside from give him the stink eye as he walked away. For the rest of the day, I looked back on that situation with much shame on my part. How could I just stand there and let this nice young lady, who has deposited my paycheck so many times on payday, the greatest of days, be insulted and possibly have her entire day ruined by this piece of trash? Why didn't I say anything?
Why didn't I rip my shirt off and follow him to his dark tower of evil, kicking the asses of all of his cronies as I made my way to the top for the final battle between good & evil?
Alright, it may not have worked out quite that awesomely.
I spent the rest of the day reliving that moment in my head, contemplating what I'd do if I could go back in time. Yeah, I dwell on things.
The truth is, most of us have more than likely had many moments like the one I just described. A time when somebody, anybody, should have stood up, if only to say "What the hell is wrong with you?" Sure it may have lead to confrontation, but isn't a little discomfort worth the risk when you're doing what's right?
I'm not saying that next time a guy cuts you off when you're driving you should follow him home and piss on his dog or anything. It's not even necessary to get physical. I'm just suggesting that we start living like a motherfucker.
That's right. Don't do anything by half. When you work out, train like a motherfucker. When you have sex, bang the living shit out of her. When you eat a bagel, well...put the bagel down and lose fat like a motherfucker.
Put your entire heart, soul and balls into whatever you're doing. I guarantee that in the end, we'll be happier with ourselves and what we've accomplished.
Now get out there. I'll be right behind you, all the way.
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