An Adventure of Epic Proportions, Part 2: The Sweet Beast of Slow Death

The introduction to this story can be found here.

Kittoe laughed heartily.  "It has been too long since I have felt the glory of battle.  Let us partake in a strength tonic to ready us for the journey ahead!"

"Barkeep!  Two blueberry protein smoothies!"

The bartender hurriedly scuffled to the back room, as to not keep the paladin waiting.  There was a loud humming noise not unlike the growl of a dying goblin, and seconds later he approached us with two tall mugs filled with some kind of thick, blue liquid.

I hesitantly took a sip of this strange beverage, wondering if Kittoe was, in fact, trying to poison me.  To my surprise, the drink wasn't half bad.  I chugged it as if there were gold at the bottom, and almost immediately felt a surge of power through my entire body.  I arose from my stool, raised the empty mug to the sky and let out a battle cry I didn't even know I was capable of producing, then threw the mug to the floor, shattering it.

Again, Kittoe burst into a hearty laughter.

"I call it the Smoothie Burst.  It was first introduced to me by an old friend of mine, the mage Tejeda.  Its effects will only last a few hours, so let us be on our way!"

As we exited the tavern, it wasn't but a few seconds before a haggardly-looking woman ran to us and stumbled to her knees.

"Please, you must help my husband!  I don't know what to do!"

"What is it, woman?  What has happened?" Kittoe said as he took her by the hand, pulled her to her feet and looked into her eyes with genuine concern.

"We were travelling through the forest when my husband discovered a strange food on the ground.  It was round, with a hole in the middle and covered in a white dust.  They seemed to be making a trail that led us off our path.  I begged him to stop eating them and following where these "Dough-nuts", as he called them, led, but it was as though he was under a spell!

"My husband, Bradyn, followed the trail for what must have been weeks, gorging himself on these odd foods until he came upon the lair of an awful beast.  I fear the worst!"

Kittoe's expression suddenly turned from one of concern to one of fury and anger.

"A Diabetus.  Disgusting, vile things.  They prey on the gluttonous nature of humans.  Fortunately for you, miss, they take their time when devouring their victims, and are not immortal.  We shall save your husband!"

Kittoe took her hand.  "What be your name?"

"Lorella.  I shall show you the way."

Lorella accompanied Kittoe and I,  leading us through the woods to the lair of the Diabetus.  It was a long journey and if it were not for the dire circumstances, it would have been quite peaceful and relaxing for the forest was quite beautiful.  As we approached the cave in which the monster dwelled, I was almost overwhelmed by the unmistakable smell of baked goods and death.

We entered the cave and made our way through, with my hand gripping the hilt of my broadsword and Kittoe with his hammer readied.  Breads, cakes and various pastries lined the walls and ceiling, tempting us to halt our attack and take the Diabetus' bait.

"We mustn't," whispered Kittoe, as to not alert the beast of our presence.  "There will be a day for us to partake in such things; today is not that day."

As we reached what seemed to be the end of the corridor, we came upon a large room that was much like the hall that led to it. Piles of "dough-nuts", chocolates and barrels full of sugary potions with no health benefits whatsoever.  Across the room from us and against the wall was a throne comprised of tiny, candied fish of various colors.  It looked delicious.

Perched on the throne was a beast I thought to be only a myth taught to children so they wouldn't eat too many breads and sweets.  The Diabetus was, as Kittoe said, a vile beast, taking a form not unlike a goblin, only it stood taller than both of us and had a black color to its skin and the area surrounding it that was similar to the darkness of a moonless winter night.  Its appearance was both evil and inviting, two characteristics most dangerous if combined.

"Bradyn!"

Lorella ran to her husband, who sat in chains at the side of the Diabetus, staring blankly.  She was thrown back by a burst of what appeared to be the darkest of magics.

A soft growl echoed throughout the cavern.

"I've been waiting for you two.  Matt Kittoe!  I knew you'd be back."

As I helped Lorella to her feet, I shot Kittoe a look of surprise and confusion.  His head lowered in shame.  "Yes, I almost let myself be enslaved by the monster.  I narrowly escaped, and hoped I would never need think of it again."  His head raised and he gazed at the beast with a new-found sense of purpose.  "I know now that the Diabetus cannot be ignored.  Unless we act, people will continue to suffer in its clutches."

I drew my broadsword and charged toward the Diabetus.  As I attempted to plunge my sword deep into the heart of the beast, it shattered, leaving me defenseless.  Before I could sidestep or backdash, I was gripped by the neck and lifted into the air.  The Diabetus sighed.

"Is this the best cohort you could gather, Kittoe?"



An unfamiliar voice shouted from the shadows.

"Enough!"

A cloaked being emerged.  Upon removing its hood, Kittoe recognized an old friend.

"Tejeda!?  Have you been there the whole time?"

Tejeda, a dark figure of average height and hair as black as midnight, kept his eyes focused on The Diabetus.

"That is unimportant.  We cannot defeat it with mere steel.  Only with the willpower of its living victims can this thing be weakened!"

Bradyn, still chained to the wall, looked up at his wife, then Tejeda with eyes full of sudden determination.

"I'll do whatever it takes."

Tejeda positioned his hands and feet in a spellcasting stance and started conjuring.  A ball of  blue light grew between his palms and he said the words:

"Knowledgus exerciso!"

The ball of light shot from Tejeda's hands across the room and into Bradyn's head.  He shook his head almost violently, rubbed his eyes and smiled as he dropped to the floor and started pushing his body upward, then letting it drop.

Up, down, up, down.

The Diabetus shrieked in pain.  "What have you done to me!?"

Kittoe turned his glance to Tejeda, who was now conjuring a ball of pure yellow light.  "It is working!"

"Knowledgus nutritionus!"

Kittoe and I watched as Bradyn absorbed the second ball of light. Tejeda walked over to Bradyn and offered him a small, cup-shaped cake.

Bradyn declined.  "No thanks, I'm watching my sugar intake."

Now the Diabetus was weakened to the point that it could barely stand.

"This isn't over.  I'll be back for you, Bradyn.  You can't keep this up forever!"

Kittoe reached for his minotaur-skin flask, uncorked it and took a long drink.  He dropped the flask to the ground and a bright blue liquid poored out, staining the rock beneath him.

The Smoothie Burst.

He gripped his hammer tight and leaped into the air, raising the Blog over his head and letting out a loud roar.  He brought the mighty weapon down on the beast's head, breaking the Diabetus into hundreds of shards of pitch-black darkness before they faded into nothingness.

Lorella pulled at Bradyn's chains, trying to release him.  Still dizzy, I attempted to break his shackles to no avail.  Tejeda stepped over to us and unlocked them with a snap of his fingers.

Bradyn shook Tejeda's hand vigorously.  "Thank you so much.  All of you.  You saved my life."

Tejeda, ignoring Bradyn's gratitude, stared into his eyes with a face that was almost expressionless.  "I only planted the seeds of knowledge in you.  I suggest you water them and retain the fruit, for I won't be here to aid you should you return to the ways that got you here in the first place."

And without bidding us farewell, Tejeda returned to the shadows from whence he came.

Kittoe and I escorted Lorella and Bradyn back to the village and let them buy us a round of blueberry protein smoothies before we said our goodbyes and rented rooms at the inn for the night.

The next morning, Kittoe and I made our way out of the village, looking forward to the feeling of grass under our feet and the blood of the wicked staining our blades.  At this time, there was no need to speak.  We looked at each other, then the village behind us and realized this was only the first of many adventures to come.

Life is good.