Dumbbell In One Hand, Controller In the Other

I just spent three hours playing L.A. Noire on my Xbox 360.

I'm okay with that.

A lot of people seem to have a pretty negative view of gamers.  When they visualize a guy who spends any amount of time playing video games, they see some fat, greasy nerd in his parents' basement on his 27th straight hour of playing World of Warcraft (and, resultantly, his 27th straight hour without showering).

Needless to say, they aren't known as being the epitome of health and fitness.

And while it's certainly true that there are people out there who prioritize video games over, say, brushing their teeth, this just isn't the case for most of us.  In fact, I think there's at least one common trait between gamers and people who partake in strength training.

I want you to think back to when you were a child.  Remember when you were little and you dreamed of slaying monsters, fighting evil and rescuing damsels in distress?  Well, some of us never stopped dreaming.  Heroism is etched into our very souls, and deep down we know we were meant for something great.  Video games offer a glimpse into a world where we have the chance, a place where we can confront evil, whether it be with our quick wit or a broadsword.

As for training, it can bring us a little closer to being able to perform such actions.  We train because the part of us that dreamed of undertaking great deeds never died.  Every time we hit a new personal record or look into the mirror and notice how much our bodies have improved, we know that we've leveled up in life.

I think that gamers and weightlifters alike have that itch for greatness; the need to be ready for the dragon attack, the zombie apocalypse, or, hell, when Bowser steals your woman.

So if you're reading this and you're an avid gamer, I propose that you start a diet and training program and not only be a hero in spirit, but be able to look and perform the part as well.

If you're already a fitness-minded individual, pick up a controller and come closer than ever before to fulfilling your fantasy of saving the world.

I'm not saying there's an impending zombie apocalypse or anything, but I'm going to need all of you to be ready, just in case.

Yes, I realize there are those guys out there who work out solely because of their own insecurities.  They feel tiny inside so they try to compensate by getting big and strong enough to become the bully.  They're the villains.  The Horde Orc that hides in the woods, waiting for low-level Alliance to run by.  The Sith that enjoys burning Rebels to a crisp with Force lightning, completely unprovoked.  These men are the Yang to our Yin.  The Biff to our Marty.  The... Skeksis to our Gelflings?

And then there are those of you who play video games, because, well, it's fun.  You don't play Mass Effect as yourself, and make decisions that you would make if you were actually in that situation.  It's purely for the escapism, and I'm fine with that.  It's kinda hard to be the hero in games like Grand Theft Auto IV, but I play them anyway because it's a damned good time.

My point is, don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing something that you love to do.  Just don't lose sight of all else (I've been guilty of this myself).  If you start neglecting your friends, family and significant other because you're too wrapped up in Black Ops, it's time to back off a bit and redirect your focus.  This of course goes for everything in life: games, work, the gym -- don't let it consume you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I still need to work out before I go to work.

It's all about balance, baby.

Turning Hesitation into Meditation into Inspiration: An Email From Gregg Avedon

Awhile back I decided to reach out to Gregg Avedon, one of the guys who inspired me to, well, become awesome.

I sent him an email with all the usual fanboy stuff, telling him how much of an inspiration he's been to me, how he's pretty much got the life I want, I imagine his face on women's bodies when I have sex, blah blah blah, you know how it is.

(Okay, okay.  Not the last one.  Not all the time, anyway.)

I ended the email with two questions:

"When you were first starting out, did you ever doubt yourself or your
ability to achieve your goals? If so, how did you quash those doubts?"

The next morning I checked my email and discovered Gregg had not only replied to my email, but had put an almost overwhelming amount of thought and detail into his response:

Matt,


First of all, I appreciate the kind words and it's great to hear that you're striving to achieve your goals and working to get better every day! As for your question, sure. What you're feeling is very normal. EVERYONE has self doubt at some level, no matter what they seem like on the outside, there's always that small voice inside trying to cast doubt over you. Some people are much better at controlling that voice inside. Their drive for success outweighs everything else. But the truth is that not everyone is built this way.


One thing that you can do is to start working on how you see yourself, how you speak to yourself (inside your head), and start to truly believe that you have the power within to accomplish your goals. You've got to believe it because you can't count on anyone else to do it for you. When we're younger we tend to think that we can do or be anything and then life happens and we become conditioned to think that there are limititations to what we can do, who we can become, and that ultimately effects the person that we become.


I've always said this and it's so true...that we spend the first quarter of our lives putting up walls and the rest of our lives trying to take them down. Things that happen in your life will create that self doubt in you and in how you view your personal ability to accomplish things.


I suggest that you spend some time alone and somewhere quiet outside where you can really connect to your higher self. I know this can sound odd if you're not used to doing this, but it will help. While outside and quiet begin to just concentrate on your breathing...in and out, in and out, your stomach rising and falling, your chest rising and falling. This will help you clear your mind and begin to center yourself. Start to notice everything around you...the trees, the leaves, the wind, the birds...everything. Begin to realize that you're a part of everything around you. Start to see your authentic self and feel your own power within. Know that the possibilities are endless. Know that you are unlimited potential. Keep breathing and allowing yourself to feel this power move through you. Know that you have full control over your actions.


Do this every day...it only takes 10 minutes and you will begin to feel more and more connected to yourself and everything around you. You will begin to realize that you have the power to achieve your goals. Don't let anyone take that power away from you...with their words or actions. In fact, don't even talk to others that you can't trust with your feelings and dreams who may cast any doubt in the fact that you can accomplish them. You will become a walking example of accomplising exactly what you set out to do and people will see it. People will want a piece of that and those same people who might doubt you will now be asking you what it is that you do to stay so fit, to accomplish your goals...they will want to be more like you!


I hope that doesn't sound WAY OUT THERE for you. The bottom line is that I want to see you take your own power and make it happen for yourself, because you hold all the cards...you've just got to believe.


All the best Matt,


Gregg

What a guy.

Unfortunately he made these suggestions to me during the dead of winter, but I let it slide as he lives in Florida and I'm assuming it's easy to forget the rest of the country is snowed-in when you're laying out on the beach.

Gregg is most definitely the real deal, and, as lame as it sounds, him and his website will always hold a special place in my heart (stop giggling) because his diet advice and the workouts on his site (for lack of a better term) changed my life.

He also released a book a couple of years back with some pretty sweet recipes called Muscle Chow.

To learn more about Gregg Avedon click here.

Honestly, the videos on his Home page crack me up.

Dine Like a Prince, Spend like a Pauper: Quick Tips for Muscle-building & Fat Loss on a Budget

So umm...I'm kinda poor.

I'm not saying that I'm living on the streets, blogging on my laptop from a dark alley somewhere downtown, eating the freshly discarded half of a bearclaw in a fort made of cardboard and a cloak made of pigeon feathers; just that I work in a sandwich shop and have no other source of income at the moment.

"I'll do anything for a an electrical outlet.  Anything!"

I make slightly more than minimum wage and as you probably very well know, living a healthy lifestyle and having the goal of becoming simultaneously fit, strong and incredibly hawt has its price, both psychologically and financially.  In the past I made the mistake of living far beyond my means.  I bought supplements that were both unnecessary and ineffective, and I bought carts full of expensive groceries without realizing there was a better way to go about things.

It's absolutely possible to eat like a king (a healthy, awesome-looking one) and not break the bank, and here are a few tips to help you get started so you don't make the same mistakes I made:

1.  Buy meats & veggies in bulk.

I buy somewhat large amounts of chicken breasts, seal them in individual freezer bags and keep them in the freezer.  It's possibly the most versatile food on the planet, so you can just defrost a couple of them overnight and use them to make dinner the next day.  I also buy ground sirloin in large quantities for burgers.  Just mix in your seasonings and whatnot, form them into burgers, and seal them in individual baggies (just like the chicken breasts) and freeze them.  You can defrost them in the microwave and cook them up whenever you want in a jiffy, which works really well for a quick lunch or dinner.

For vegetables, I usually just buy big bags of things like frozen broccoli and cauliflower, which work great on the side of your burgers.  Just steam, season with lemon juice and sea salt, and you're golden, Pony Boy.

2.  Don't buy a bunch of supplements that you don't need.

Pretty early on after I was bitten by the fitness bug, I thought that a massive pile of pills would solve all my problems.  I didn't bther to realize that supplements are just that: supplements.  They're for supplementing what should already be a fairly solid diet; they won't make you lean and strong when you're scarfing down Snickers and Golden Grahams all day.

Also, don't get caught up in the hype of certain "wonder" pills.  Acai extract won't help you lose fat any more than banging your best friend's mother will, and spending $30 on a bottle of mangosteen juice will only result in giving you permission to be slapped in the back of the head.

(On second thought, banging Mrs. Anderson would probably be condusive to fat loss.  Especially when you're on the run while being hunted down like a dog by your best friend.)

As far as I'm concerned (and people far more qualified than me will back me up on this), the supplement staples are:

Fish oil

Greens/superfood

A good multivitamin

Vitamin D (normally the multi won't have nearly enough)

I also take zinc because most people (especially athletes and people who work out intensely) are generally pretty deficient unless they're eating a lot of organic nuts and oysters and such.

I consider protein powder to be more of a food than a supplement, so that's why I didn't include it in the list.

I do take more than what is listed depending on the situation, but I'm only listing the supplements I take every day no matter what.  I might blog about everything I take in the future, but for the purpose of this post, these are what's important.

So there you have it.  Two tips to help you get fit, tough and further out of debt if you're financially challenged  like I am.

Any advice to give on how to get muscle on a budget?  Comment!

Stop Mourning the Morning: 6 Ways to Slay the A.M. Dragon

So I'm kind of a morning person.

In fact, I think it's safe to say that morning is most likely my favorite part of the day.  There's just something about the calmness of it all.  To know that the next hour or two are yours alone, and the only things you have to do to stay productive are seemingly mundane, almost meditative tasks.  Whatever horrible things you went through yesterday are behind you.

It's a new day, and it's fresh chance for you to make improvements.  Did you spend yesterday sitting on your ass and watching Youtube videos?  Did you accomplish none of the things you told yourself you would?

Been there.

I'm getting better, however, and it has a lot to do with how my day begins.  It's easy to set yourself up for a really crappy day by waking up, griping about the day ahead, munching on a Pop Tart (or not eating breakfast at all) and chugging gas station coffee in the car on your way to work.  It takes just a wee bit more effort, but I guarantee if you use the guidelines I've provided here that you too can become a morning person.  Instead of opening your door and making the arduous ten-foot journey to your car, you'll break straight through your front door like a viking, sprint to your car, lift it over your head, throw it over the horizon while screaming and grunting like the Hulk and run to work with the speed of The Flash.

You bet your ass.

Get a good night's sleep.

I really hope I don't need to explain the benefits of sleeping.  Set a goal for seven to nine hours of sleep a night.  This of course makes a huge difference when it comes to how you're feeling in the morning, and not getting enough (or too much) sleep can make or break the entire next day.

Wake up with gusto.

As soon as the alarm sounds, I jump out of bed like the house is on fire, because I know if I continue to lay down that five seconds can easily turn into an hour.  It makes it easier when your alarm is a catchy up-beat tune, so I installed a program on the computer in my bedroom called Alarmwiz, which is a nifty alarm that will play any mp3 of your choosing.  You can use it to set up several alarms for different occasions and turn them on and off whenever.  It's pretty awesome.

My favorite wake-up song is Huey Lewis' Hip To Be Square, thanks to an episode of NBC's Chuck.

Chug! Chug! Chug!

When you're done dancing like a drunkard to Lady Gaga, make your way to the kitchen and make yourself a tall glass of ice water.  Now drink it.  It's important to replenish fluids first thing in the morning because after eight hours you're pretty dehydrated.  It also gets your body's systems going and according to various studies, drinking ice water in the morning boosts your metabolism by getting your internal "furnace" going.  Even if you find that hard to believe, there are still plenty of reasons to do it.

Exercise, or something.

Personally I like to get on my stationary bike for a bit while I watch an episode or two of Seinfeld.  The idea of it sucks, but a little fasted cardio before breakfast makes you feel incredible.  Trust me.  Sometimes I'll follow it up by a little meditation.  In place of the bike you could also do yoga, or if the weather permits, just take a walk around the block.

Oh, and stretch. 

Babies for breakfast, babies for dinner

Ditch the cereal for a week, cooking yourself a tasty breakfast with a nice ratio of protein, fats, and carbs.  You'll thank me.

My favorite breakfast lately?  Scrambled eggs made with 1 whole omega-3 egg, 4 egg whites and chopped spinach, topped with a nuked mixture of lentils, salsa and cumin, with a side of natural uncured bacon.  For those of you who think that sounds awful, it's better than it sounds.  For you folks out there who think it sounds amazing...it is.

If you want to get a little schmancy, try yerba mate in place of coffee every now and again.  It's a South American tea that has caffeine in it, along with theobromine, the euphoriant in chocolate.  It'll give you energy and mental clarity without the jitters.

Take a Scottish shower.

No, I don't mean singing the Oscar Meyer wiener song in your best Sean Connery voice.  Basically it just means turning the faucet to the cold setting for the last couple of minutes while showering.  It'll be just awful the first couple of times you do it, but you'll feel like a new man/woman afterward.  Other than just the wake-up factor, benefits of cold showers include improving circulation, boosting testosterone, increasing fertility and promoting the release of growth hormone (great for burning fat and gaining muscle).  Of course it also closes your pores, so prepare to look smooth.

Just following these guidelines should produce almost immediate results.  Why?  In most cases a good morning leads to a good day, so it's best to make the most out of the first hour or two after you've arisen from your slumber.

You might even say that creating the perfect morning for yourself is the first step in achieving all your hopes and dreams.



...you might say.


Have any of your own tips to tame the dreary-eyed beast known as the morning?  Wake up and comment!

I Saw the Future (And You Can Too!)

The first version of this article was originally published by myself on Feb. 16th, 2009 on another site.   

Not all of it is relevant now, but me thinks it still makes for a decent read.

So I worked out today with the intensity of a coked-up barbarian...and vomited.

Apparently, it has something to do with a reaction to the breaking down of proteins in the system.

Disgusting, right?

Well my experience today was far from the disgusting.  My vision blurred, I could barely stand, and I kind of felt like Charlie when he ate an entire pizza and drank 24 beers all in a single sitting.


"Guys, if I'm peeing wake me up!"



The thing that happened next, however, is what I'm here to tell you all about:

I saw the future.

At least I think I did.  Maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't.  But I've gotta admit, it all seems pretty damned possible.  I've never been one to think about what is yet to come.  I hate making plans.  The very thought of what I'm going to do with the rest of my life makes me immediately hop on the computer and go to one of those Youtube-style porn sites and start jerking away, just so I can live in the moment again.

Some will support me.  Some will betray me.  And some, well...let's just say that they give a darn good blow-J.  I'm damn proud of what I've accomplished, though.  I'm going to write a novel, and not like any of the trash I've started and thrown aside in the past.  This one gets finished, and published on a global scale.  Oprah wants to make it one of her book club selections, which would easily make me millions of dollars, but I decline. I say something along the lines of  "If you're taking suggestions from that yoyo-dieting messiah of the housewife, there's a good chance I don't even want you reading it."  It turns out this was just an awful, awful decision and choice of words. 

My tv series will begin airing in 2015 on Showtime.  The two main characters are based on my good friend Ian and myself, and the two actors emulating us will eventually grow to hate the characters because they're so identified with them.  It's going to be the next Seinfeld, only with hot, nude women with little butterfly tattoos on their hips bathing in the background of every scene.  David Duchovney, eat your heart out.

Being on the cover of Men's Health and the article that was published in the issue inspires me to write a book full of healthy versions of your favorite meals.  Full of protein and other muscle-building goodness.  Try the Chicken Kiev; it's fuckin' delicious.

Now, onto the darker side of my future:

Despite my successes, my love life is in shambles.  You see, I have a certain predilection toward unavailable women.  Taken?  Lesbian?  Would rather make love to a pine cone than me?

I love you.

As it turns out, this is my downfall.  They're going to find me dead on a hotel room floor surrounded by bottles full of unrequited love.  No note, no phone call.  I'm discovered by a married chambermaid, who had rejected my advances just hours before.

God damn, I can't let this happen.  I won't let myself go that way.

There's got to be a way to break this curse.  Anybody have some charred cat bones?  Maybe an eyeball taken from one of those horse/zebra hybrids?


Turns out witchcraft is more of a hassle than it's worth.

The way I figure it, there's only one possible solution:  Get out while I can.

If I come across a woman who's unavailable and also completely irresistible, I'm not walking, I'm running in the opposite direction.  No more attempted courtship.  No more becoming "the other man".  No more self-emasculation.

No more time wasted.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some broadband-speed internet porn to jerk off to.


Carry on, my wayward son.

Photo by David LaChappelle