Dumbbell In One Hand, Controller In the Other

I just spent three hours playing L.A. Noire on my Xbox 360.

I'm okay with that.

A lot of people seem to have a pretty negative view of gamers.  When they visualize a guy who spends any amount of time playing video games, they see some fat, greasy nerd in his parents' basement on his 27th straight hour of playing World of Warcraft (and, resultantly, his 27th straight hour without showering).

Needless to say, they aren't known as being the epitome of health and fitness.

And while it's certainly true that there are people out there who prioritize video games over, say, brushing their teeth, this just isn't the case for most of us.  In fact, I think there's at least one common trait between gamers and people who partake in strength training.

I want you to think back to when you were a child.  Remember when you were little and you dreamed of slaying monsters, fighting evil and rescuing damsels in distress?  Well, some of us never stopped dreaming.  Heroism is etched into our very souls, and deep down we know we were meant for something great.  Video games offer a glimpse into a world where we have the chance, a place where we can confront evil, whether it be with our quick wit or a broadsword.

As for training, it can bring us a little closer to being able to perform such actions.  We train because the part of us that dreamed of undertaking great deeds never died.  Every time we hit a new personal record or look into the mirror and notice how much our bodies have improved, we know that we've leveled up in life.

I think that gamers and weightlifters alike have that itch for greatness; the need to be ready for the dragon attack, the zombie apocalypse, or, hell, when Bowser steals your woman.

So if you're reading this and you're an avid gamer, I propose that you start a diet and training program and not only be a hero in spirit, but be able to look and perform the part as well.

If you're already a fitness-minded individual, pick up a controller and come closer than ever before to fulfilling your fantasy of saving the world.

I'm not saying there's an impending zombie apocalypse or anything, but I'm going to need all of you to be ready, just in case.

Yes, I realize there are those guys out there who work out solely because of their own insecurities.  They feel tiny inside so they try to compensate by getting big and strong enough to become the bully.  They're the villains.  The Horde Orc that hides in the woods, waiting for low-level Alliance to run by.  The Sith that enjoys burning Rebels to a crisp with Force lightning, completely unprovoked.  These men are the Yang to our Yin.  The Biff to our Marty.  The... Skeksis to our Gelflings?

And then there are those of you who play video games, because, well, it's fun.  You don't play Mass Effect as yourself, and make decisions that you would make if you were actually in that situation.  It's purely for the escapism, and I'm fine with that.  It's kinda hard to be the hero in games like Grand Theft Auto IV, but I play them anyway because it's a damned good time.

My point is, don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing something that you love to do.  Just don't lose sight of all else (I've been guilty of this myself).  If you start neglecting your friends, family and significant other because you're too wrapped up in Black Ops, it's time to back off a bit and redirect your focus.  This of course goes for everything in life: games, work, the gym -- don't let it consume you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I still need to work out before I go to work.

It's all about balance, baby.

An Adventure of Epic Proportions, Part 2: The Sweet Beast of Slow Death

The introduction to this story can be found here.

Kittoe laughed heartily.  "It has been too long since I have felt the glory of battle.  Let us partake in a strength tonic to ready us for the journey ahead!"

"Barkeep!  Two blueberry protein smoothies!"

The bartender hurriedly scuffled to the back room, as to not keep the paladin waiting.  There was a loud humming noise not unlike the growl of a dying goblin, and seconds later he approached us with two tall mugs filled with some kind of thick, blue liquid.

I hesitantly took a sip of this strange beverage, wondering if Kittoe was, in fact, trying to poison me.  To my surprise, the drink wasn't half bad.  I chugged it as if there were gold at the bottom, and almost immediately felt a surge of power through my entire body.  I arose from my stool, raised the empty mug to the sky and let out a battle cry I didn't even know I was capable of producing, then threw the mug to the floor, shattering it.

Again, Kittoe burst into a hearty laughter.

"I call it the Smoothie Burst.  It was first introduced to me by an old friend of mine, the mage Tejeda.  Its effects will only last a few hours, so let us be on our way!"

As we exited the tavern, it wasn't but a few seconds before a haggardly-looking woman ran to us and stumbled to her knees.

"Please, you must help my husband!  I don't know what to do!"

"What is it, woman?  What has happened?" Kittoe said as he took her by the hand, pulled her to her feet and looked into her eyes with genuine concern.

"We were travelling through the forest when my husband discovered a strange food on the ground.  It was round, with a hole in the middle and covered in a white dust.  They seemed to be making a trail that led us off our path.  I begged him to stop eating them and following where these "Dough-nuts", as he called them, led, but it was as though he was under a spell!

"My husband, Bradyn, followed the trail for what must have been weeks, gorging himself on these odd foods until he came upon the lair of an awful beast.  I fear the worst!"

Kittoe's expression suddenly turned from one of concern to one of fury and anger.

"A Diabetus.  Disgusting, vile things.  They prey on the gluttonous nature of humans.  Fortunately for you, miss, they take their time when devouring their victims, and are not immortal.  We shall save your husband!"

Kittoe took her hand.  "What be your name?"

"Lorella.  I shall show you the way."

Lorella accompanied Kittoe and I,  leading us through the woods to the lair of the Diabetus.  It was a long journey and if it were not for the dire circumstances, it would have been quite peaceful and relaxing for the forest was quite beautiful.  As we approached the cave in which the monster dwelled, I was almost overwhelmed by the unmistakable smell of baked goods and death.

We entered the cave and made our way through, with my hand gripping the hilt of my broadsword and Kittoe with his hammer readied.  Breads, cakes and various pastries lined the walls and ceiling, tempting us to halt our attack and take the Diabetus' bait.

"We mustn't," whispered Kittoe, as to not alert the beast of our presence.  "There will be a day for us to partake in such things; today is not that day."

As we reached what seemed to be the end of the corridor, we came upon a large room that was much like the hall that led to it. Piles of "dough-nuts", chocolates and barrels full of sugary potions with no health benefits whatsoever.  Across the room from us and against the wall was a throne comprised of tiny, candied fish of various colors.  It looked delicious.

Perched on the throne was a beast I thought to be only a myth taught to children so they wouldn't eat too many breads and sweets.  The Diabetus was, as Kittoe said, a vile beast, taking a form not unlike a goblin, only it stood taller than both of us and had a black color to its skin and the area surrounding it that was similar to the darkness of a moonless winter night.  Its appearance was both evil and inviting, two characteristics most dangerous if combined.

"Bradyn!"

Lorella ran to her husband, who sat in chains at the side of the Diabetus, staring blankly.  She was thrown back by a burst of what appeared to be the darkest of magics.

A soft growl echoed throughout the cavern.

"I've been waiting for you two.  Matt Kittoe!  I knew you'd be back."

As I helped Lorella to her feet, I shot Kittoe a look of surprise and confusion.  His head lowered in shame.  "Yes, I almost let myself be enslaved by the monster.  I narrowly escaped, and hoped I would never need think of it again."  His head raised and he gazed at the beast with a new-found sense of purpose.  "I know now that the Diabetus cannot be ignored.  Unless we act, people will continue to suffer in its clutches."

I drew my broadsword and charged toward the Diabetus.  As I attempted to plunge my sword deep into the heart of the beast, it shattered, leaving me defenseless.  Before I could sidestep or backdash, I was gripped by the neck and lifted into the air.  The Diabetus sighed.

"Is this the best cohort you could gather, Kittoe?"



An unfamiliar voice shouted from the shadows.

"Enough!"

A cloaked being emerged.  Upon removing its hood, Kittoe recognized an old friend.

"Tejeda!?  Have you been there the whole time?"

Tejeda, a dark figure of average height and hair as black as midnight, kept his eyes focused on The Diabetus.

"That is unimportant.  We cannot defeat it with mere steel.  Only with the willpower of its living victims can this thing be weakened!"

Bradyn, still chained to the wall, looked up at his wife, then Tejeda with eyes full of sudden determination.

"I'll do whatever it takes."

Tejeda positioned his hands and feet in a spellcasting stance and started conjuring.  A ball of  blue light grew between his palms and he said the words:

"Knowledgus exerciso!"

The ball of light shot from Tejeda's hands across the room and into Bradyn's head.  He shook his head almost violently, rubbed his eyes and smiled as he dropped to the floor and started pushing his body upward, then letting it drop.

Up, down, up, down.

The Diabetus shrieked in pain.  "What have you done to me!?"

Kittoe turned his glance to Tejeda, who was now conjuring a ball of pure yellow light.  "It is working!"

"Knowledgus nutritionus!"

Kittoe and I watched as Bradyn absorbed the second ball of light. Tejeda walked over to Bradyn and offered him a small, cup-shaped cake.

Bradyn declined.  "No thanks, I'm watching my sugar intake."

Now the Diabetus was weakened to the point that it could barely stand.

"This isn't over.  I'll be back for you, Bradyn.  You can't keep this up forever!"

Kittoe reached for his minotaur-skin flask, uncorked it and took a long drink.  He dropped the flask to the ground and a bright blue liquid poored out, staining the rock beneath him.

The Smoothie Burst.

He gripped his hammer tight and leaped into the air, raising the Blog over his head and letting out a loud roar.  He brought the mighty weapon down on the beast's head, breaking the Diabetus into hundreds of shards of pitch-black darkness before they faded into nothingness.

Lorella pulled at Bradyn's chains, trying to release him.  Still dizzy, I attempted to break his shackles to no avail.  Tejeda stepped over to us and unlocked them with a snap of his fingers.

Bradyn shook Tejeda's hand vigorously.  "Thank you so much.  All of you.  You saved my life."

Tejeda, ignoring Bradyn's gratitude, stared into his eyes with a face that was almost expressionless.  "I only planted the seeds of knowledge in you.  I suggest you water them and retain the fruit, for I won't be here to aid you should you return to the ways that got you here in the first place."

And without bidding us farewell, Tejeda returned to the shadows from whence he came.

Kittoe and I escorted Lorella and Bradyn back to the village and let them buy us a round of blueberry protein smoothies before we said our goodbyes and rented rooms at the inn for the night.

The next morning, Kittoe and I made our way out of the village, looking forward to the feeling of grass under our feet and the blood of the wicked staining our blades.  At this time, there was no need to speak.  We looked at each other, then the village behind us and realized this was only the first of many adventures to come.

Life is good.

Turning Hesitation into Meditation into Inspiration: An Email From Gregg Avedon

Awhile back I decided to reach out to Gregg Avedon, one of the guys who inspired me to, well, become awesome.

I sent him an email with all the usual fanboy stuff, telling him how much of an inspiration he's been to me, how he's pretty much got the life I want, I imagine his face on women's bodies when I have sex, blah blah blah, you know how it is.

(Okay, okay.  Not the last one.  Not all the time, anyway.)

I ended the email with two questions:

"When you were first starting out, did you ever doubt yourself or your
ability to achieve your goals? If so, how did you quash those doubts?"

The next morning I checked my email and discovered Gregg had not only replied to my email, but had put an almost overwhelming amount of thought and detail into his response:

Matt,


First of all, I appreciate the kind words and it's great to hear that you're striving to achieve your goals and working to get better every day! As for your question, sure. What you're feeling is very normal. EVERYONE has self doubt at some level, no matter what they seem like on the outside, there's always that small voice inside trying to cast doubt over you. Some people are much better at controlling that voice inside. Their drive for success outweighs everything else. But the truth is that not everyone is built this way.


One thing that you can do is to start working on how you see yourself, how you speak to yourself (inside your head), and start to truly believe that you have the power within to accomplish your goals. You've got to believe it because you can't count on anyone else to do it for you. When we're younger we tend to think that we can do or be anything and then life happens and we become conditioned to think that there are limititations to what we can do, who we can become, and that ultimately effects the person that we become.


I've always said this and it's so true...that we spend the first quarter of our lives putting up walls and the rest of our lives trying to take them down. Things that happen in your life will create that self doubt in you and in how you view your personal ability to accomplish things.


I suggest that you spend some time alone and somewhere quiet outside where you can really connect to your higher self. I know this can sound odd if you're not used to doing this, but it will help. While outside and quiet begin to just concentrate on your breathing...in and out, in and out, your stomach rising and falling, your chest rising and falling. This will help you clear your mind and begin to center yourself. Start to notice everything around you...the trees, the leaves, the wind, the birds...everything. Begin to realize that you're a part of everything around you. Start to see your authentic self and feel your own power within. Know that the possibilities are endless. Know that you are unlimited potential. Keep breathing and allowing yourself to feel this power move through you. Know that you have full control over your actions.


Do this every day...it only takes 10 minutes and you will begin to feel more and more connected to yourself and everything around you. You will begin to realize that you have the power to achieve your goals. Don't let anyone take that power away from you...with their words or actions. In fact, don't even talk to others that you can't trust with your feelings and dreams who may cast any doubt in the fact that you can accomplish them. You will become a walking example of accomplising exactly what you set out to do and people will see it. People will want a piece of that and those same people who might doubt you will now be asking you what it is that you do to stay so fit, to accomplish your goals...they will want to be more like you!


I hope that doesn't sound WAY OUT THERE for you. The bottom line is that I want to see you take your own power and make it happen for yourself, because you hold all the cards...you've just got to believe.


All the best Matt,


Gregg

What a guy.

Unfortunately he made these suggestions to me during the dead of winter, but I let it slide as he lives in Florida and I'm assuming it's easy to forget the rest of the country is snowed-in when you're laying out on the beach.

Gregg is most definitely the real deal, and, as lame as it sounds, him and his website will always hold a special place in my heart (stop giggling) because his diet advice and the workouts on his site (for lack of a better term) changed my life.

He also released a book a couple of years back with some pretty sweet recipes called Muscle Chow.

To learn more about Gregg Avedon click here.

Honestly, the videos on his Home page crack me up.

I'm Back, Baby!

It's been a good week.

And not just because last night some sort of genetically-modified super-cougar raised her glass to mine and said, "To you and me and the prospect of a good fuck sometime."

It was just as awkward as it was flattering.

No, I'm talking about fitness.  Last week I covered exactly what I had been doing for the last three weeks in order to get completely off-track and gain 4 lbs. of pure, squishy fatness.  I ate a shit-ton of delicious ice cream, only trained about once a week and adopted an extremely negative attitude.  I was tired, bloated and depressed.

No more.


Starting Monday, I jumped back on track and stayed there.  I started The Superhero Workout, and only ate good, wholesome food, keeping the carbs low at all times other than breakfast and post-workout.  I've already lost a few pounds of fat, water and various body garbage, and that makes me all the more excited to keep this going and share my experience with others.  In fact, I checked myself out in a public bathroom last night and (through the reclaiming of my self image) popped a boner.

There I was, standing in the middle of the men's bathroom at Brewski's, staring at the shiny golden god in my reflection with only a thin layer of denim restraining my erection.

And so I decided to take pictures of everything I ate over the course of one day, to provide an example of what I might eat throughout the day, and to answer the "What do you eat?" question I've gotten from a few readers.


9:50 a.m.

A tall glass of ice-cold water, first thing.  Crisp.

10:05 a.m.

Smoothie and organic coffee sweetened with vanilla creme-flavored liquid stevia.

Smoothie recipe:

1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
1 tbsp. ground flaxseed
1 scoop greens/superfood powder
1 1/2 scoops strawberry-flavored protein powder
Handful of ice.

Blend it, drink it, thank me.

10:15 a.m.

Supplements.
Since the greens were in the smoothie, I didn't take any more.

2:00 p.m.

Post-workout shake.
(Sorry, I chugged some of it before realizing I hadn't taken a picture yet.)

Post-workout shake recipe:

10-12 oz. water
25g strawberry whey isolate
40-50g dextrose
5g creatine
5g glutamine
Ice.

4:00 p.m.

Scrambled eggs with 1 whole egg and 1/2 cup of liquid egg whites, with garlic.
Usually I'd add a vegetable like spinach or broccoli, but I was all out.

7:45

Beef stew, recipe courtesy of strength coach Dan John:

1 can tomato soup
1 can french onion soup
1-2 lbs. stew beef
Bag of frozen stew veggies
Olive oil (I used coconut)
Pepper

1.  Heat oil in big pot
2.  Brown meat in oil, pepper it
3.  Throw in soups and veggies
4.  Simmer until meat is tender.

Done and done.

10:00 p.m.

Protein pudding

1 cup low fat grass-fed milk
2 cups fat free cottage cheese
1 pkg. Sugar free instant pudding mix

Blend milk and cottage cheese until completely smooth, then  whisk in pudding mix and stick in the fridge for 5 minutes.
I won't lie, it's delicious with some sugar-free Cool Whip on top.

Later on that night I had a bowl of Greek yogurt, which I failed to take a picture of.  Sorry.

Oh, and I'm including these because during the Summer months my sweet tooth is as strong as ever:

It's things like this that keep me sane when I'm dieting.

Was this a perfect day of eating?  Maybe, maybe not.  That's probably a subject for debate.  The point is that I took in a lot of decent food and had all the right macro-nutrients at the right times, without lowering caloric intake too much and keeping the protein high.  I'll most likely have a cheat meal once or twice a week to keep leptin levels high, depending on how much of a deficit I'm in.

Have any questions?  Had trouble seeing something in the photos?  Think the stew looks awful?  


Comment!

How to Get Out of Shape, or, What I've Been Doing the Last Three Weeks

So I hopped on the scale today and found that in the last three weeks or so, I've gained about 4 lbs. of fat.

It's about damned time.

You see, about a month ago I woke up, walked over to my mirror and took a long, hard look at myself wearing just a pair of boxer briefs.  My arms and legs looked powerful, my shoulders resembled cannonballs and a six-pack was actually peeking through. In short, I was starting to look way too fucking sexy.

"This can't be!" I screamed at the shimmering, golden barbarian that stood before me.

That's when I realized something had to be done; I couldn't let my body be sculpted into this...this god.

And so, through great effort, I've managed to convert myself into a lazy, unmotivated shell of a man in just 3 short weeks.

Here are a few tips on how to let go and finally become that worthless slob you've always dreamed of being, along with warnings as to what you should not be doing:

1.  Eat ice cream after every meal.  Seriously.

I went to the grocery store simply for the purpose of buying ice cream just so I'd have something to munch on while watching My Name is Earl on Netflix.  They had a 2 for $7 deal on Edy's, so I stocked up on Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup and Thin Mint (That's right, chocolate ice cream with chunks of the Girl Scouts' Thin Mint cookies.  It's awesome).  There were days when I would eat this stuff after breakfast, lunch and dinner, and sometimes as a post-midnight snack.

What not to do:

Only eat ice cream and other sweet treats on weekly or bi-weekly cheat days or cheat meals, following the principles of leptin expert Joel Marion and fitness king John Romaniello.

2.  Make breads and pasta a staple of your diet, and take in massive amounts of carbs with every meal.

After a personal experiment where I severely limited gluten in my diet, I was feeling fantastic.  My energy levels went up, my brain fog lifted and I just had a general feeling of well-being along with extremely healthy digestion.  My poops were awesome.  All but eliminating gluten was obviously a very, very bad choice, so I started devouring sandwiches as if there were a chance a coupon for one night with Jessica Biel was hidden in between the slices of delicious blood sugar-raising refined grains.

What not to do:

Limit intake of gluten-containing products and carbs in general, keeping majority of carb intake during breakfast and peri-workout.  Make any pre-bed meals based on fat instead of carbs, because carbs are fuel for high-intensity activity, and since you're about to lay down for 8 hours, they'll likely get stored.  Dietary fat is primarily what is burned during sleep, so keep that in mind.

3.  Find any reason to skip a workout, no matter how small.

This isn't difficult to do once your diet is in shambles and you don't have the energy to clip your toenails, let alone move iron.  I'd use every excuse from "I feel a headache coming on" to "I need to finish this mission in Grand Theft Auto IV!" to not train.  I haven't felt a good pump in weeks, and I'm feeling as feeble and inadequate as ever.  Score!

What not to do:

Develop a "No excuses" mindset.  Unless it's an emergency, under no circumstances are you to refrain from training.  It doesn't matter if your favorite rerun of Friends is on tv (I know the monkey is adorable, but this is what DVDs and Netflix are for) or if your buddies want to go out to the bar.  It's okay if you're a little late; they'll forgive you.

4.  Hang on to every word your critics say.

Ya know those people who talk shit behind your back, tell you you'll fail at every opportunity and seem to revel in taking a dump on other people's dreams and goals?  They're usually right.  Chances are, you never will lose that fat, get your dream job, or meet the "one".

Just give up.

What not to do:

Eject these toxic, poisonous pieces of human garbage from your life.  They're so disgusted with themselves and their own lack of control when it comes to their own lives that they try to convince you you're just as weak as they are.  Find people who are willing to identify their goals and take action, and listen to what they have to say; there's a good chance they've had to overcome many of the same trials you have, and are happy to offer kind words and advice.  Believe in yourself.

So there it is.  Following these four simple rules should get you well on your way to becoming sad, pathetic and pudgy.

Go get 'em, tiger.





Have anything to add that will help others get out of shape?  Comment!

Welcome to Subshack, Vol. 3: The Old Man

Unsure of what his birth name is, we just call him The Old Man.  He's been employed at Subshack since it was opened, but how long he's actually been working on the piece of land on which the building was raised has yet to be determined.  We've heard tales of him pumping gas in that very spot back in the 1940's when it was a gas station, and rumors of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics of him hunting families of sasquatch have been floating around since I was hired.

The Old Man is also one of the angriest bastards you'll ever come across.  The smallest of errors may send him into a blind rage full of screaming and ranting.  Working harder and being productive will do the same.  The most you can do to avoid being ripped to shreds by his razor sharp claws (his nails haven't been trimmed since 1936, when a whip-wielding archeologist trapped him in a cave and filed them down in an effort to render him harmless) is stand completely still until called upon to do his bidding.

In 2007, Subshack veteran Michael Tejeda discovered a way to soothe The Old Man's madness.  Albeit only a temporary solution, it is an often-used tactic to get through a long shift with important limbs intact:

You've got to rub his belly.

This sends him into a state of short-lived serenity, where he reflects on his past and tells tales of valor, terror and battles long-forgotten by anyone else.

Many have attempted to slay the beast, yet none have succeeded.  It is said that he draws strength from his age and that the devouring of processed meats and grains only amplifies his power.  Taking into account his place of employment and unknown origins, he very well may be unstoppable.  This is proven by his trophy wall; a wall adorned with the heads of fallen heroes who once stood against him.

Should you venture into Subshack in an effort to quell your hunger, heed my words and proceed with great caution.

Ancient texts have prophecied a great hero that will take up arms against the one known as The Old Man and succeed where others have failed.  A hero of humble upbringing and great strength, accompanied by a group of like-minded allies the likes of which have never been seen.

My time will come.

Remember my story.

The Closest Thing To Superpowers We'll Ever Get

Testosterone.  

For some people it has become a sort of four-letter word; they associate it with anger, or with sexism, or with (gasp!) steroids.  These people imagine a muscle-bound jackass in a wifebeater flexing his delts in front of a mirror at the gym, or a greasy truck driver in the bathroom of a diner, getting pleasured by a cheap hooker while he eats a corndog and threatens to beat his wife over the phone.

My point is, that if you bring up the T-word in public, chances are you're going to be confronted by a lot of the negativity surrounding it these days.

That's Lame.

The truth is, testosterone plays a major role in the quality of human life (yes, even for women!).  Having normal/high T levels can keep you energetic and motivated.  It's highly anti-inflammatory and is, contrary to what your mama says, great for heart health.  It also helps you get lean and stay that way, along with promoting muscle growth.

Oh, and this is perhaps the best of all...

It raises libido.  Big time.

That's right, without it you'd have a hard time stepping up to the plate...with your penis.

It's the same with women.  If she's not in the mood, like, ever, there is a chance it's a hormonal imbalance.  That's what I've always found amazing about birth control pills: Women take them because they want to have passionate, mind-blowing, monkey-shit-fight-at-the-zoo sex with a man without the horrible burden of having to raise his child.  Unfortunately, the hormones that are in The Pill that prevent pregnancy also cause a drop in T production, which will lower your libido faster than seeing Ernest Borgnine in a pink Speedo.

"Testicularity is the last vanguard of civilization; what ties us to nature, what makes us want to excel, what makes us want to discover, invent, and conquer. Don't let your balls go the way of the appendix."

-From the book Atomic Dog: The Testosterone Principles by TC Luoma

Testosterone is an unstoppable hammer-wielding barbarian in the fight against mediocrity.  Why don't you want more of it?

One night when I was at a bar with my buddies, the subject of marijuana came up in conversation.  I won't get too much into what was said, but I did mention at some point that it might lower T levels.  The data is conflicting right now, but I basically said that there's a chance it might affect hormones in a measurable way.  One of my friends didn't find it concerning.  His response?

"Why would you want more testosterone, anyway?"

I let the comment slide and chose not to respond, as I felt I needed to reflect on that question a bit.  Why would you want more?  Well, I suppose it has to do with knowing what it is, what it can do, and who it can help you to become.  I also came to the conclusion that having low T-levels might actually result in a lack of concern regarding the bettering of self.

It's like in Supernatural when Sam lost his soul, and decided he didn't want it back.  You see, he didn't want his soul back because he didn't have one; when you're completely content with that fact that you don't care about anything, the thought of suddenly caring about everything and enabling yourself to feel doesn't seem like a great idea.

Kind of a lame analogy, I know, but my point remains the same:

If you don't want it, it might be because you don't have it.

Let's get some.